Its funny how people make comments about what they think i want.......i don't take offense to it...i just think that it's funny.....was told that i don't want a boyfriend cause i like to have fun.....my question is why have a boyfriend if you can't have fun with him??? Why do we have to stay @ home by ourselves b/c we have finally found eachother?????........ doesn't everyone want to have fun....why can't i have both...fun and boyfriend??? is it too much to ask for?????
Weddings galore again this year......if one more person gets engaged this year, i will honestly move across continents....made up my mind about moving...August 2009.....Houston or Japan.......2 extremes.....i've always been complicated......thus i'm extreme when it comes to decisions that i make......i really don't have a lot of luck with guys.......weddings make me nervous....make me realize how i'm so not ready for a commitment of that magnitude.........emotional occasion to say the least......i haven't been writing....feel the passion being drained........i'm emotionally crippled by all that's going on.....its funny how i can listen to people's problems all day, encourage them to go for their dreams by night, check on them when they're ill......i never get that in return......Christine listens though....love her for that......maybe i'm just being extreme as usual.........death is a way of life....have been thinking a lot about death lately......somebody's always got to die.....its the circle of life.....we just don't know which one of us is going first.......i miss being someone's priority.......i feel like i'm always an option.......why don't you just pick me???? Pick me.....as i am....smart, bold, beautiful, extreme, emotional, sarcastic, optimistic.....just pick me. But then again, my track record with shoving guys away is very high.....so u might want to go back to her.......u might lose me somewhere in my awakwardness......i'm goin to Vegas next weekend......excited to get away from this forsaken place.......Prince Caspian coming out on May 16th has been jumpin for joy....seriously.......read The Kite Runner......it was so real......reminded me of being deported.....i need to write about that......i have so much bottled up inside.....i usually would unleash all that's inside with a bottle of vodka by my side......so much to say but so little time.......writing has saved my life........my inspirations can't seem to inspire me anymore......i'm trying to shed this dead skin but it's not working......i'm tired of being alone in a room full of people i know......i would rather be alone somewhere where i know not a single soul......start fresh.....life is full of surprises......someone told me that if i find love that i shouldn't run away from it.......i just don't believe that i should find love....its needs to find me....and if its meant to be then so be it.....we do what we do and we do what we live.
