Tugging at my heart!!

If this was a different world, i would be in love with you and you with me. Imagination lets me wander into a world were me and you meet; its the perfect occasion. I'm the pretty girl at the bar getting a glass of wine and u notice me from a distance; u don't say a word to your friends but just get up and come towards me because u don't want someone to grab my attention before u do. I'm sipping on my glass watching and listening to the jazz band play some soothing blues melody when u approach me and u have already figured out that there is an attraction. u are my type of guy and i thank god under my breath. that chance meeting ends us in a whirlworld romance and a year later, u want to make me your wife.
How naive of me to imagine all of this and forget the tribulations that come with every relationship. The perfectionist in me wants the perfect spouse but i'll never find that. Can't even find someone who likes me for me. Not changing my personality for somebody else but need to get rid of my flaws. To think that my imaginary love will come true is just that; imaginary. So while i sit here and wait for this imaginary spouse, many a perfect man have slipped through the cracks of my life and have left me lonely. Desperate was never the name of my game.
I just want peace, i want to get away to some place where i don't want to feel the pressure of having companionship.

Everyday life!!

I have not been writing much, not on my blog or my diary. I have become consumed with my weight loss because it has been a long time since I have seen my physical self in a positive way. So I'm at work, should be doing my french homework since i'm in the downstairs office but i don't seem to have the energy to do anything these days. I'm so ready for graduation. Hopefully i can get one of these overseas jobs so i can get out of here.
Its sad to hear that someone from your highschool passed away. Shalonda was a very vibrant person, the last time i talked to her was my freshmen year of college. She had a great personality. She will be greatly missed.
I'm tired of running into the same old people, i'm tired of the negativty that sorority life sometimes brings along with it, i'm tired of people thinking that they are better than everyone else, i'm tired of men putting their hands on women, i'm tired of men cheating on their girlfriends, i'm tired of girlfriends cheating on their men, i'm tired of being friends with people who don't even care about me, i'm tired of loving people and not being loved back, i'm tired of being something that i'm not.
Its funny to hear from your own brother that u're too strong or aggressive for a guy, what a shame, i have to change my personality just to find a man.