I'm Doing it Again.

I'm doing it again, the endless cycle of life, I'm doing it again, allowing the negativity of this disdain hypocrisy, bother me. I'm doing it again, repeating last year's resolution since i didn't do anything to resolve it last year. I'm doing it again, declaring to the world, that i am free but im still imprisoned by the mistakes that my mother made many yesterdays ago. I'm doing it again, believing that tomorrow will be better than yesterday forgetting that tomorrow is shaped by what i did yesterday and what i'm doing today. I'm doing it again, allowing the pessimistic views of this supposed democracy which really is a patricrachy that disappoints me everyday, to ruin my thirst for an independent world. I'm doing it again, being a double standard!!

Once Again!!

Once again a new year is blessing me with something that i'm despising the most at the moment: getting older. In exactly a month, i'll be turning 24 and as much as i'm happy about it, i'm also saddened because i am really disappointed with the fact that i still am in college. Still young though, have the world in my hand, its time to go, see and conquer. Improvement is needed in many aspects of my life!!!I need to boost my self-esteem back up because i let to many things and people get in the way of my happiness. I can't blame that on them though, i can only blame that on myself. My linesister told me last night that i don't give myself enought credit which is true. Its time to focus on my happiness instead of everybody else's.
Went out last night with my linesister and my neos; had a blast. Saw some familiar faces and some new ones. At the end of the night i had to pick up a friend you had to many drinks to drive and drop him home. Didn't go to sleep till 4 in the morning and i had to be up by 7 to get my car checked for this stupid Geico shit!! Now I'm at work doing what i do best, sitting in this quiet office typing away which is better than being upstairs cause i'm too tired.
My friends are like family to me. I have a deep sense of loyalty to these people because i care about them and vice versa. My linesister told me last nite that she is concerned about me sometimes because she is worried about people hurting me. That had to be the most sincere thing that has been said to me by a close friend in a long time. It made me appreciate my friendship not only with her but with the close people around me. Most people don't understand that when i say "i love u" i mean it; even if i haven't known u for a while but we have a pretty good vibe, that's love right there. Conversation is a form of love whether we like it or not. And thats how i love most of my friends; through words, through conversation.

The New Year!!

So we are already into the third day of this year and thanks to the many blessings from God, everything is going smoothly. I need to test out of French so i can graduate in May and start my alternate certification classes online. New Years Eve was laid back, i was at work all day and at a friends house that evening, all i needed was a relaxed atmosphere with the people that matter the most. i've been writing a lot more lately in my book and it gives me a sense of peace everytime. i was out with Monica last night; its been a while since i've kicked it with her but we had a good time. Might go to Narah tonite and do the hookah. I need to write while i'm there. I have to make this new year a positive year for myself, i need to be less concerned by people's actions towards me, i need to calm down, i stress out too damn much!!! Some changes need to be made, i need to evaluate myself in a different light this year, i know myself but there is so much more to learn.
Life is a maze, too many long roads, too many shortcuts, too many road blocks, i guess we just need to be able to manage through it.