Something.Someone.Somewhere.will understand.

It's like everyone is slipping through the cracks of my life....it seems that i don't care anymore.......that's not in my nature.....i'm usually the caring one........i guess i got tired.......i'm tired of the weather change.....i'm tired of friends trying to be friends when they feel like it......I miss Houston....I miss Eritrea.....I miss Ethiopia....I miss the places I've been........I miss the people i let go......I miss the people who let me go.........I miss the people i can't have........Friendship is important......Love is overrated........I'm tired of being sucked into people's gravity........I need to find my own gravity and get lost in it.......I don't know where i am........I'm in Arlington, Tx.......I dislike this place with every passing day........Austin, here i come.......Houston, next stop.......I'm moving back to the H by August 2009.......I miss my college days.......I love the idea of being in love even though i have never been in love.......but i still believe that love is overrated and that i'm underestimated in my capacity of loving someone.......I pull and i push......i try to pull back again....realize that i have no second chance.........and then i start shoving......I shove so hard that i discard the memories of pulling........i lose people when i talk.....i get distracted.......they get distracted.....and there is that awkward silence......makes me realize how awkward i am......then i rememeber how i never belonged in the first place........so the bottle of Dos Equis....or Red Stripe.....or Corona.....or Bud Light....or better yet Patron....even better Chardonnay..........those bottles become my companions.....i miss those bottles when i don't have them.......that bottle.....or the many i continue to have make me belong......everyone starts talking about how cool i am......and at the momemt.....i regret trying to be someone that i'm not........and realize that i have lost myself completely in the crowd......i'm so adamant on being different......isn't that what everyone is trying to be.....different? and then i realize again......i have become like everyone else is......I'm very optimistic.......very openminded.........I've grown up so much.....I need to shed some dead skin.