Past couple of days.

I have been feeling lost these past couple of days, confused on what I'm going to do after graduation if I don't get a teaching job. I was thinking a lot about my dad last night because i still have some animosity towards him. Its been a year and a half since he passed away, its also been almost 17 years since i last saw him. My mother was my father and mother; she did a great job raising us. She deserves way better than what life has given her. Graduation is a celebration for her, not me. Hopefully she is proud of the girls that she raised.
I have a dream that one day............. I really don't know. I know I have a dream; I just can't seem to find it. I have not dreamt in such a long time; all my positive thoughts have become a distant and hazy memory.
All things, whether good or bad, come to an end.
I think i have lost faith!!